PALADIN

 PALADIN


You're right. You'll prove it.

You were born under the Moon of the Mare. The Summer Court has many children, and favoritism is rampant and arbitrary. But you're more than a favorite. You're special. Her fire lives in your heart, and her glory shines from your eyes. When you dream, her court attends you, with their blacksmith's hands and neon teeth and hi-gloss skin. Their hearts beat with hate and hunger. They want to kill you and fuck you and eat you. You don't owe them anything.

Starting Equipment: A pair of showy custom made handguns. Not custom made for you. Ammunition for the same. An extremely expensive, ostentatious costume you'd never pick for yourself. A hip flask full of gasoline. A book of matches.

Skills: 1) Demagogue 2) Sophist 3) Party Animal 4) Media Junkie 5) Street Racer 6) Prophet




Templates:

A) Summer Teeth, Season of Revolutions

B) Hold Me! Touch Me!

C) Divinity of Broken Towns

D) Pleasure Principle


You need Charisma 12+ to be a Paladin. If your Charisma ever drops below 12 for any reason, you lose all of your special shit. Because you were never a Paladin at all. You were just pretending.


Summer Teeth- Sure, you're a gatekeeper and a hater. You're also god's favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world. You can make any check as a Charisma check as long as you do it absolutely fucking spectacularly. Outrageous action movie stunts, solving problems at gunpoint with dramatic monologues and narratively satisfying conclusions, anything. But key to this approach is that you don't fall on your ass like a total loser. If you fail this check, the consequences are inevitably much worse than if you had slogged through pretending to be normal. But you won't fail.


Season of Revolutions- Whenever you're attacking someone worse than you who's the boss of you, your damage dice explode. Physical and emotional attacks both count. Feel free to shout "Smite Evil!" if you want. I mean, they're stupid losers opposing the hero. That's kind of definitionally evil.



Hold Me! Touch Me!- You're so fucking awesome it explodes out of your head like the light of the sun. It glorifies the worthy and makes haters weep and grovel in the mud for your forgiveness. Just having your friends in your presence lets you add your Charisma bonus to all their saves. Making out with them for a round lets you roll one of their HD, add their Charisma modifier, and heal them for that much (Then set that HD aside until tomorrow. It needs to catch its breath.) You can do penalties and damage to your enemies the same way. Hurting a hater via fake out make out heals you too.


Divinity of Broken Towns- You have a dream about the coolest motorcycle in the world. It looks exactly like you want it to. It rides like a dream. It comes when you call. But it comes with responsibilities. Yuck, I know, but listen. It goes like 160 mph + your Charisma score, which is like 400 meters per turn, which is insane. It can do sick jumps and stunts and stuff no problem. If you do something basically impossible (ramping your motorcycle through a moving helicopter and shooting the pilot on the way out), you'll need to use Summer Teeth, but you can definitely fucking try it. Not even a question. It doesn't need fuel. It runs on you. But it's a living thing. It's a child of the Summer Court, like you. An exile, like you. And its heart hates and hungers like yours. Every session, your motorcycle will make a wish. It might want to burn something, or kill someone, or get cool matching tattoos, or go and get milkshakes at this awesome place in town you've never heard of. If you don't grant its wish, it gets grumpy and won't come back until you sacrifice something valuable and important to it. It's used to that kind of treatment.




Pleasure Principle- You're the only person in the world. It's the only conclusion. There's nothing here. No god, no man, no sun and moon and stars, no human race, no life on earth. Just dreams. Just empty space and you. But fuck it. That doesn't sound so bad. So check this out: If you don't have something, but you should, and you usually do (a flashlight, ammo, a grappling hook, bottled water, whatever) you just do have it. Like you just do. Dream logic is tricky though, so if you want to use it on someone "else" (lol) you need to roll Charisma vs them. If you win, and you will, it all goes how you want it. You say BANG and they drop dead. You give them some refreshing water. Etc. But if you lose... nothing happens. Which can't be right. That's not how it goes at all. Your Charisma goes down by 1, permanently. But it's good. It's fine. It's all fine. Other bad shit might happen too, at your GM's discretion.





Comments

  1. I mean. Yeah. Sounds about right to me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This blog, and only this blog, makes me believe rock stars are real.

    ReplyDelete

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